saudade

 I want something I can’t shape into words, a kind of tenderness I’m terrified to name, because what if my wanting sounds like too much, what if my trembling honesty becomes the reason someone walks away? I hold these old scars like secrets under my skin, aching for light, but how do I ask for the kind of care that could teach them to breathe again? 

I’ve forgotten how to feel the way my heart once knew; fear has taught me to fold myself small, to stay quiet even when everything inside me is breaking open, because what if no one understands the language of my hurting? I crave to be held in a way that makes me unafraid of being seen, but how do I ask for warmth when I don’t know how to let it in?

~sehrish