MAYBE I AM CHANGING

maybe I'm changing or maybe I'm already a different person now..  

instead of scrolling miles of Instagram, I'm kinda in love with the world i see through my Pinterest boards.. 

instead of dreaming about living life in a small wooden hut during a long lasting autumn, i now imagine how would it feel like to dance in the snow.. 

instead of just listening to the warble of raindrops, now i go out and let my skin feel those raindrops.

instead of listening rap, now I'm in love with all the details and the beauty those old classic songs carry.

instead of fantasizing myself filling my wardrobe with some low cut backless dresses and wearing them, i now adore all my baggy clothes and sneakers.. 

once, I used to believe in fairy tales and imagined my life as one, but now I quite have made my peace with the fact that fairy tales are nothing but lies, and I'm kinda fancying reality rather than fiction.. 

instead of enjoying being alone, i, now, adore every second of being with and talking to someone.. 

instead of asking for help with my unannounced anxiety, now I've learned to relax and calm myself..

i had my days when i was hurt and i cried days and nights, but now crying seems so unessential and i have taught myself to shut all the screams, cries, pain, and tears inside me as if they don't affect me; as if they don't matter.. 

and there were days i begged people to stay, but now i just let people go, if they want to..

maybe it's all changing, i am changing because now i know what's truly mine will come to me tearing down the obstacles in it's way. all i need is a little patience and a lot of self-love. or maybe i am changing because i have changed my priorities and precedence because i taught myself that i deserve the best of all and the best is yet to come... 

 ~sehrish.